“Yes, but” … SO WHAT!
Listen to yourself, listen to others and realise how many times people start reasoning with the two famous words “YES, BUT… ” You will also find their famous friends “IF ONLY I HAD / DID… THEN”
Today I would love to speak about “SO WHAT”, the new “Yes, But…”
Live the life you wish to live.
Here is what I hear the more often “Yes, but you know Elke, I feel that when I have a new job/boyfriend/my children being successful at school/my dog being healed from his neuro-psychotic issues/my divorce being pronounced… then I will find some time to reflect/then I will feel better/then I will be happy…”
Is that so?
Let me ask you some questions.
What is between the “Yes, but – Now” moment and the “then I will” moment?
How will you feel in between these moments?
How do you know that THEN is going to be realised?
WHEN is THEN?
Why do you rely on exterior circumstances or persons, in order to feel better THEN?
Do you feel better thanks to others just NOW? – Please, read this question twice. We all have good friends already, right? So, do you feel better NOW, because you have friends who love you already NOW. Are you sure, another person THEN will make you feel better, whereas NOW those who love you do not seem to make a difference or have influence on your inner peace… Think about this… Do you see what I mean? Please, feel free to start your answer with “Yes, but…” Does it feel peaceful? You decide. Only you know… I am simply asking questions…
You wait… for then… Why?
Do you feel seriously, deep within yourself, that waiting for the job, will definitely make you feel better about yourself? Do you think that the next salary raise will you make happy? Until when? Yet, another THEN?
THEN… And NOW? How do you feel NOW? Don’t you wish to live now? Before THEN comes?
Let me tell you something: You are able to feel happy, to be at ease with yourself NOW. You do not need to wait for THEN.
You don’t believe me? That is OK. I was there too. I was so much in the “Yes, but…” moment, that I almost lost myself chasing my own happiness, looking forward to THEN, forgetting about NOW. I hear you, dear reader. I know that we have busy lives, at least I know we think so.
Let me also tell you that you have the power and the peace to say “Wait a moment. Stop all this for a while. Is this what life is about? A perpetual chasing behind something better to come? Is this it? Does my well-being really depend on others? Do I need to distract myself with some mood enhancers in order to make my mind shut up? In order to stop the clutter, this none-stop voice in my head?”
Be Yourself. Reach for the stars, as you are the stars already.
Realise the Life You Wish, as You Are All That Is already.
It is not a dream, you are the master of your dream to become true.
Realise that only you are responsible for yourself. Free yourself from doubts and fears about yourself. People criticizing your decisions to leave beaten tracks simply kindly reflect your last remaining doubts. Their words or actions will only make you feel ‘bad’ or ‘hurt’ you, as long as YOU, and ONLY YOU still have doubts about yourself.
You are still a single? You still feel lonely and sad about it? Well, how about a date with yourself? How about starting to love and accept yourself? You are like a beautiful, very tasteful cake. A partner is the cherry on the cake. Yet, this cherry doesn’t really change the beauty, the consistence, the taste of the cake. It merely is a decoration, something beautiful to experience, but let’s suppose the cherry falls down or somebody else comes, takes it away and eats it? Is the cake less ‘good’? Less tasty? No. And trust me, there are many cherries in the world😉 You are the one to love yourself first. All you feel about yourself is going to be felt by others, is going to be reflected, hence this is what you will experience in any kind of relationships.
You complain because you work too much? You feel that your company will not survive if you are not doing everything and even more? Well, then why don’t you change it? Stop. Lean back. Ask yourself “What do I want?” …
“Yes, but” is what you want to answer? …
Why not believing that life can be different? Wouldn’t it be great to live in peace with oneself? NOW, not THEN and to take back responsibility? To hold on one moment and to say “I believe in myself. Now!” You are able to. Maybe you forgot about it, maybe you do not believe me, but please be sure, that you are able to do it. Now. Not Then, nor in 10 years when your children leave the house or in 6 months when you are finally divorced from Mr or Mrs Smith…
All I can do, is share my personal experience. I decided to live life differently. Please be sure that some of my friends think I am crazy, wasting my best years, totally lost it. Others expressed their thoughts verbally and expressed them in quite emotional ways. SO WHAT!? It is my life. I do not need them to believe in me, my choice of life, my believes. I do. Yet, they love me in their way of loving people. In their way of loving themselves.
I love them the way they are. Being able to say “So what” may be seen as something frightening to those whose lives are based on “Yes, but / One has to do this, because / If we lived in a different world, but here… No. This is not how it works” Each of us is free to live life as we see and experience it.
The thing is, our mind thinks in very limiting ways. We forgot that absolutely anything is possible. Yes, we can make it happen. I know, this sounds crazy, but aren’t the crazy ones, who actually change the world? Interestingly, we call the crazy ones those who come up with truly great things, with inventions, soothing words, wisdom and peace. Rarely those who seem to be attached to power, greed, walk over dead bodies, send their brothers and sisters and children to war are openly defined as the crazy ones… Do you realise that? No judgement here, as they are us too. But it just popped up in my mind. It is as if “Yes, but… you understand this is necessary”, this acceptance of fear-based life inhibits us to the point, that as soon as there are people stepping out of it, are pointed at… well, I guess this is for a next post to be written😉
Our mind wants to protect us. At least this is what we think… So, based upon some sort of ‘security-check’ it will try to sort out different outcomes.
What is security? Does it come from without? Isn’t it rather something we feel within?
Security is necessary, when we are afraid. As long as there is fear, we will try to create security and laws, traditions and so called values in order to feel safe. From what exactly? Where is this real danger? Why fear? If everything is possible? Do you see what mean? It starts within yourself, then we live it, create reality with-out. Somehow people tend to believe it is the other way round. Don’t you think so?
Are you feeling the need to answer “Yes, but…” ?
First we want to leave fear based thinking, which actually leads us to live life based on fears. Fears are limiting. In a reality with indefinite possibilities of creation, we hold on to something limiting?! Amazing, isn’t it. Just as people who said we will once be able to fly. They were laughed at. Why? Because others said “It’s impossible; it is much too dangerous in any case” Or that the world is round… Remember? People would laugh and say “No way, we would all fall into emptiness. The world is a plate and we really do not need to go too far, because at one point we fall into emptiness” Discoverers, scientists, philosophers all went through stages of being ridiculed… until peoples’ minds evolved, because they opened it.
Maybe now some will say “Yes, but this is different!” Is it? Are you sure? Then please tell me how? In which way is it different? If some of us hadn’t gone and thought in being able to do, to discover the ‘impossible’, well we would still be here, sitting in some cave. No internet, no Skype, no airplanes. Not that all this is necessary to be happy, to feel inner peace! For sure it is not, I just try to give concrete examples which are easy to grasp. The procedure within is the same. Without deep believe in the impossible, it will not happen.
Why should it be different for you? You are your own discoverer, scientist, master of your life.
I know that many people say “Oh, you have no idea, how on earth can I do this, given the fact that I have to deal with my job, my sick grandmother…” I know. Would you believe, that if we really want to do something, if it comes from the heart, without doubts and fears, life makes it happen? All the sudden problems will resolve. The unthinkable becomes real. All the sudden we find solutions and our dream can unfold, the pieces of our puzzle fall into place and the big picture becomes true. All by itself. How? Because we believe in ourselves. Because we have the power to do it. This is who we are. All that Is.
This is why it is really important to literally be ‘out of the mind’. Whenever people tell me this, I say ‘Thank You so much! Indeed, I am out of mind. Thank God’
A beautiful side-effect of living life free from fear, is that one is happy and peaceful with what he or she lives just right now. Having less money, no Porsche in the garage or being a single does not make them feel less good or unhappy. Detachment from many things, life happens and unfolds. Happiness depends less on matter or other persons. In the same time it will be lived and experienced with more joy, when it comes.
So, yes, you start to say “So what”. Limiting believes are slowly replaced by confidence within yourself.
You feel and live the conscious power you Are.
Move away from Fear. Move away from “Yes, but…” If “Yes, but” was real, the truth, wouldn’t this be sad? YES BUT is making people sick, depressive, they try to escape this more and more unbearable reality. Some do it by drinking, taking drugs, doing extreme sports; anything to produce endorphins and to forget the heavy weight of “Yes, but”.
Again, only you are able to decide for yourself.
Are you ready to believe in yourself?
Are you ready to live now?
Are you ready to say “So what!” ?
Are you ready to discover yourself and to shed off fear? Layer by Layer?
Are you ready to Be?
Anything you want?
SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?